Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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