A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
cat food counts as protein by the way
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
