The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
