four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
