I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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