Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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