Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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