Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
