That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
