I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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