We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
