just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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