Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
