this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
