i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
bring money and cleavage
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
