I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
