i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
