i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
