i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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