TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
