i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
