this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Drunk is not a location!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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