turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
