When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
