i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
