Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
