So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
