Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
