bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
