Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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