I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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