in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
bring money and cleavage
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
