We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Two words: blizzard sex
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
