...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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