I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
