If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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