Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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