i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
