So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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