Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
