so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
