And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize