that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
