Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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