Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
