honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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