she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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