we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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