**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
