I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
