I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
