we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
