kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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