Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
