Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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