Already got asked if we're dating
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
