We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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