Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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